What God Means to Me
I found this blog in drafts from March 2018. I’m so pleased to share it.
I grew up in a very strict religious household. In our house and community, God meant FEAR, JUDGEMENT, and ANGER. We were taught that we were never "good enough" and never could be. All of our human tendencies were wrong or sinful. Creating such a state of unworthiness within our religious brethren, also created an atmosphere for constant judgement. There were so many rules of what we could do and couldn't do that we were often appalled and even turned our backs on those who couldn't live up to these standards. This started me on a journey of judgement of myself and those around me.
As I became an adult, I left the strict religious concepts and standards behind me but the fearful, angry, judgements stayed. The only difference was that now I was judging according to my own ideals. I continually looked upon other's faults as I perceived them, as a way to bring them down in my eyes. Why did I want to do this? Out of fear! However I treated others, or whatever I thought about them, I treated myself worse. In my own mind I was constantly beating myself up for all of my own perceived faults. "I was such a terrible person and everyone else was better than me" I thought. If I could mentally bring others down to my lowly level, I wouldn't be as afraid of what they might represent to me. I lived my life in this way miserable in each moment.
As I look back now, I can see that what I was taught as a child was only one concept and interpretation of God. Through meditation and reflection, I can now see that humans construct these many and varied concepts in a way to bring meaning and answers to life. Often we humans spin out of control when we feel we have no purpose. Finding the rules you want to follow may be somewhat liberating. Now you know what you are "supposed" to do. I understand that no matter which religious concept you follow, humans are attempting to connect with source. And that is a beautiful thing!
"God" used to be a difficult word for me. But now to me, God is everything. God is all of the beauty that we can see, as well as the beauty we cannot see. We live in an existence made of energy. That energy never dies. It's a continuous cycle to and from the Source energy. That source energy is all around us, it goes through us, it is us. I call this source God. Therefore, God is everything and God is us, we are all God, and we are all each other. I've learned that all of the answers that I seek are inside of me and all of us. The answers are in the questions. With my new understandings, I am able to let go of fear, anger, and judgement. I am able to accept myself and all of the decisions I've made on my journey. If I can accept myself, then I can also accept others. Life is beautiful.
How do you change the world? Change your own energy. Vibrate at a higher frequency. This infects the energy stream. It causes ripples that turn into waves. It's happening all around us now. The ripples are expanding. Smile, and we all smile with you. We are you, and you are one with God.